Why some friendships have an expiration date

Forgive me for pretty much brain dumping here, but this is a topic that crosses my mind, and that I discuss with the one friend I know I’ll never lose, (my Mum), A-LOT. Friendships.

Now I’ve lived in 4 places for an extended period of time, mixing it up between the North West and the East Midlands, and I’ve been in 7 different educational establishments, from Reception to my Postgrad. That’s a lot of people in different places, coming and going.

Each move has been a new chapter (or 3) in my life, and as I sit and reflect on the current ones, I like to think back on all the people that I’ve come across and befriended over the years. Some are still close friends, some are those that I think of fondly and always want to chat to, although we may rarely meet up- (I’m saying years apart here), and others who have sadly just been passing ships in the night. People, who have at one point been those I couldn’t imagine a day without speaking to, to an almost stranger whose life I only keep up with now through Facebook posts. Do I look back on these friendships sadly and with resentment? No, because at one point they were who I needed, and I was the same for them.

Over the last few years I’ve probably gone through the amount of milestones that most  people experience over 10 years or more, and I’d definitely say that they’ve changed me. I guess its up to what people think, whether it’s for better or for worse, but for me, when I think of myself right now, as I sit here typing away, I proud of the person currently I am. The sad and difficult situations I have been through have guided me to being a driven, more confident woman. I’m excited for what’s next- and hey, maybe I am looking too much into the future, but trust me, after the last 3 years that I’ve had, it’s much more exciting than what has been!

In these last 3 or 5 years I’ve lost quite a few friends, and there are some that I never expected to lose, but in some situations they haven’t been there for me the way I imagined, and maybe they feel the same. Either way, big life experiences change you, and, (excuse the analogy), we aren’t Pokemon, we don’t all evolve.

I don’t like to use the word ‘friend’ lightly, I think with the increase of social media outlets we feel we know each other more, but a friendship is about the emotional connection you feel with someone, not how many pictures they may post online a day, meaning you think you know them. If I was to count how many people I truly call my friends, I think I’d cap the number at 15, because how many people can you really give your whole and emotional self to? I like to give complete dedication to my friends as I think it’s important that they know you’re there as emotional support on ANYTHING, whether it’s picking an outfit or dealing with a huge personal trauma.

Some of these people have been around for years, others only since September. Yet, what I know about true friendships is that time isn’t a factor, I believe it’s all about that click. It may come straight away, or it may take a week or so. Either way, it’s either there or it’s not, and I’m grateful for all those I’ve clicked with, past and present.

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