Dealing with bumps in the road

Without going into too much detail, the last year has been a complete and utter rollercoaster ride. The highs have been some of the most amazing experiences I’ve ever had, but the lows have been some of the most difficult situations I’ve dealt with.

I think we all have an inevitable worry that when things are going too well, something bad is going to happen. ‘Sods law’, is a good way of explaining a situation like this, and I would say there is also a sense of irony that runs along side it. No matter how well things are going, something can always go wrong. It can get to the point where we can become slaves to our paranoia, anxious that when things are going so so well, we actually are unable to enjoy them, as we worry about the next hurdle being just around the corner, ready to trip us up when we just aren’t expecting it. That isn’t the direction to go in though, as eventually we begin to lose our enjoyment of the positives, we are unable to appreciate our times of happiness, thinking, ‘things are going too well‘. How is there such a thing as ‘too well?’ The concept is baffling, that we as human beings expect something to take a bad turn as we just aren’t content with all the good going on.

When the bad does happen though, and I’m not saying it is always inevitable, but sadly there are possibilities, it really does seem to happen when we least expect it, and again, this situation can catch us and bring us down. ‘I knew it was going to happen!’ We exclaim, as if we’ve been sat, wallowing, anticipating this negative turn in our lives, yet, if we really were ready for it to happen, it wouldn’t actually be affecting us as much as it was.

These things aren’t in our control, and you know what, it’s not simply the situation that occurs that can be ‘bad’, it’s actually the way we deal with them. Of course, the worst bad situations, like death, aren’t on the normal scale. Things like that are unavoidably going to break you, and, in my view, you have a right to initially wallow, and let the negative emotions take over, because something like that is so hard to deal with. Although, eventually, you do need to try and move on from that, as I’m sure the person that you may be mourning over would never want you to sit and be depressed about it forever, they would want you to go forward and be the best version of yourself.

Slightly more lightheartedly, there are the key stages in life that you may briefly think are the worst things ever to deal with, but they are actually the things that could make you. Now, I’m talking about things like break-ups, and losing your job. I mean, on the former I can’t really say much, but personally, in my limited experience of break-ups, I’m grateful for the breakdown of my last relationship, because I sure as hell wouldn’t be the confident, more considerate girl (woman?) that I am today, and I’m sure, similarly, my ex learnt many things too. Sure, at the time it was grim, but its a learning curve. Similarly, with the loss of a job- something like that is worse than a break up, it can catch you completely off guard and leave you in a very difficult position. Yet, it could also give you that confident boost, to take up something you may have always wanted to do, maybe even a different career? It can actually take you out of a trap, that you may not have ever realised you were even in.

So, to stop my potential waffling, I’m going to say one thing. Life can be completely and utterly horrible and it may put you in a position you never wanted to or imagined you’d ever be in. That’s when the power, the one that you thought you lost in the first place comes back to you. That’s when life brings the real challenges to you. The fight or flight reaction. Who knows how you choose to deal with it? All I know is that you can only test how strong you are if you face these horrible situations, and in my own experience, they’ve built me to the person who I think I can be proud of today.



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